By Tao Jun, Dong Hua
HO CHI MINH CITY, Aug. 7 (Xinhua) -- Some Vietnamese women, especially those unlucky in love, often receive surprising advice when they consult fortune-tellers about the prospects for their love life.
Dang Thu Thuy, born in 1983 in the northern Thai Nguyen province, is currently a lecturer of English at a well-known university in Hanoi.
She had previously worked as an assistant or a project officer at several Vietnamese and foreign organizations, including the British Embassy in Vietnam and the Vietnamese Ministry of Education and Training.
She has always been considered graceful and kindhearted by her colleagues.
"To be honest, I'm not picky at all and I do want to become a bride. But why hasn't my man turned up yet? No one can answer this question conclusively, so I have resorted to fortune-telling," the lecturer told Xinhua recently, smiling awkwardly.
On one such visit, Thuy was told that she was apparently being followed and disturbed by a jealous spirit who had been her lover in previous life. The spirit, the fortune teller claimed, had maintained its love for her and was trying to sabotage and ruin her love affairs.
"I'm not superstitious. But sometimes I use the fortune teller's remarks as an explanation for my prolonged unmarried status, whenever my relatives or my friends ask me about my future wedding prospects," Thuy said.
Many Vietnamese believe that every person has had a previous life. In that life, if a person loved someone but the relationship between the two failed, they often take a vow that they will continue their love affairs in their next incarnation. They then lead their own life until they die, and then go to the afterlife.
If for some reason, one of them is reincarnated, beginning a whole new life, and the other is left in the afterlife as a spirit waiting for a chance to be reincarnated, they invisibly watch their beloved's life, preventing them from getting married by interfering in and undermining their beloved's relationships, secretly forcing them to keep their promise.
This story is often used as an explanation for those with a series of unsuccessful love affairs, or those who remain unsettled in married life, with the majority of people who seek fortune tellers' help being women.
Nguyen Thuy Linh, a 25-year-old accountant from the Long Bien district in Hanoi, was told by a fortune teller that she was being followed by her husband from a previous life, who still loved her very much. If she did not hold a ceremony to "divorce" him, she would run the risk of being single for her whole life.
Linh has undertaken the divorce rite herself three times, with her mother also secretly conducting the rite for her four times, with the cost of each ceremony ranging from 44 U.S. dollars to 440 U.S. dollars depending on its scale.
"I've visited many wizards and fortune tellers, and with each of them, I found a new ghost lover. Some were from my previous life, some were unknown spirits who haunt the land near my house and fell in love with me," said the accountant.
Linh and many other Vietnamese women have had boyfriends, some of whom have undertook a driving-away or "divorce" rite.
To prepare for the rite, people cook certain dishes, including chicken, to be offered to the spirits along with fruits.
Offerings at these spiritual divorce ceremonies vary depending on the wizard, but it is necessary to have motive objects made of paper, such as bowls, plates, clothes, money and vehicles to be used as farewell gifts for the spirit, and two paper puppets, representing a male and a female.
During the rite, the wizard will cut the thin cord connecting the two puppets and declare that there will be no more involvement between the person and their ghost lover.
All the paper offerings will be burnt after the rite. Sometimes, people also burn another female puppet for the ghost to receive as a wife to help him forget his earth-bound love.
A 27-year-old kindergarten teacher named Bui Thanh Xuan from the Tho Xuan district, in the central Thanh hoa province, has experienced many difficulties and failures in her love life. Afraid of being left on the shelf, she has visited several fortune tellers to ensure she is spiritually free and single.
"I'm very sad. At the last ceremony, which cost me 3 million Vietnamese dong (133 U.S. dollars), the wizard told me that I would have a boyfriend within the next three months. But seven months has passed and nothing's happened," Xuan said despondently.
According to Dr. Le Van Ky from the Vietnam Academy of Social Sciences, the reason some find their real-life partner so soon after conducting their spiritual divorces, is more due to the fact that they are psychologically released by the ceremonies, and that they perhaps feel more confident in finding a life mate, which contributes greatly to their success.
Renowned psychologist Trinh Trung Hoa shares Ky's view that the greatest advantage of the practice is the creation of belief and confidence in people who long to find a life partner.
Those who have experienced many rites but still remain single, may not have overcome the psychological obstacles to open their hearts, Hoa said.
"They should look to themselves, and think about who they want to share their life with. They should open their heart and work on their communication skills and appearance, and learn how to be a real lover, since if they don't know how to maintain their relationship, it will be very difficult for them to resolve their problem," the veteran psychologist stated.
"They can't just blame their fate on such nonsense as ghosts," Hoa added.
Thuy does not believe in the existence of an after life or ghosts, but her mother does. "My caring mother has secretly conducted the ghost driving-away rite for me several times," the lecturer revealed.
"From time to time, one of my colleagues or even of my students woos me. But I don't think the rites work, but my improved communication skills do," Thuy said, tussling her curly hair, which for years used to be in a braid.
